Captain Piggy-pants; suicide ideas.

If you ever watched a horror film like barbie you may remember feeling that urge to just kill yourself! Captain Piggy-pants, after watching the whole barbie series, decided to commit suicide so here are some of his ideas:

• Bungee jump off a cliff (without the rope!)
• Hang yourself from the Eiffel Tower.
• Shoot someone (with the gun the wrong way around)
• Enclose a time bomb in your knickers.

WARNING: WE DO NOT EXEPT COMPLAINTS FROM PEOPLE WHO HAVE USED OUR TIPS TO KILL THEMSELVES AND FIND THEY DON'T LIKE BEING DEAD!

Captain Piggy-pants; how to earn money.

Captain Piggy-pants as you probably know, is a billionare (thats only because he robbed a bank) so he is the perfect person to give you tips on earning money! Here are some tips which our hero himself has used to earn lots of money.

1) Begging

• Dress up as a pink bunny and write 'I WANT MONEY' across your bum, now all you have to do is shake your bum at people and hope they take pity on you.

2) Robbing

• Step 1: find a bank
• Step 2: Rob it
• Step 3: ummmm... I can't think of another step!

Captain Piggy-pants hopes you find these tips useful.

xxx

Captain Piggy-Pants- Top Holiday Locations.

Captian piggy pants has been working with experts to come up with some top holiday locaitions for you and your guinea pig. We hope you find the following, absuloutly hopeless, places-to-go helpfull.

• -The centre of the sun; beware your guinea pig might get burnt.


• -Wallagoggamollgjibbyloga island where the the cute green vampire bunnys live, watch out they're fiesty!
• Aound the crater of a continously erupting volcano this is a place where expert bunjee jumpers have died why dont you try?

Captain Piggy-Pants, healthy eating tips!

Do you want to be fatter? Do you want to put on loads of weight? Well if you do we have the thing for you! Just follow our 'healthy' tips and you will be the chubbiest guy ever!

• First tie your tummy to a plane, then stand still and get someone to fly the plane. This will stretch your tummy nicely.


• Never ever eat vegetables, they are extremely bad for you.

• We recommend roasting your head teacher this will give you lots of fat!

• Don't be stupid and eat too little (and definitely don't eat your green stripy leotard)

Don't eat them!

Captain Piggy-Pants- Fashion tips!

Here are the latest fashion tips of 2008, wear what we tell you to wear and you will be the coolest kid in town.


- Wear a stripy red and green leotard with purple spots on.

<-- Wear a false moustache. - Wear a stupid looking bowler hat, like the one your grumpy teacher wears!

- Put on very very thick green lipstick!

- Selotape a teddy to your head.


If you follow these points you cant go wrong (especially with the leotard!)

Meet the hero.

Hello, all pig lovers!
Welcome to the land of Captain Piggy-Pants!
Captain Piggy Pants is an idiotic pig-hero who runs around in his underwear trying to fight crime!
He kills evil things like teachers and veg with the help of his talking-toilet friend, Timmy the talking toilet!

WARNING! WE WILL SUE ANYONE WHO READS THIS 'CAUSE WE NEED MONEY!

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