Captain Piggy-Pants, healthy eating tips!

Do you want to be fatter? Do you want to put on loads of weight? Well if you do we have the thing for you! Just follow our 'healthy' tips and you will be the chubbiest guy ever!

• First tie your tummy to a plane, then stand still and get someone to fly the plane. This will stretch your tummy nicely.


• Never ever eat vegetables, they are extremely bad for you.

• We recommend roasting your head teacher this will give you lots of fat!

• Don't be stupid and eat too little (and definitely don't eat your green stripy leotard)

Don't eat them!